Beyonce has opened up about her heartbreaking miscarriage for the first time, it was revealed on Thursday.
The 31-year-old, who is married to rapper Jay-Z, addresses the tragedy in her upcoming HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream.
She suffered the loss several years before the birth of her daughter Blue Ivy in January 2012.
‘About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,’ she says in a preview.
‘And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.’
‘I picked out names,’ she recalls.
‘I envisioned what my child would look like.. I was feeling very maternal.’
She lost the child in the early stages of her pregnancy.
‘I flew back to New York to get my check up – and no heartbeat,’ she says.
‘Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.’
The star, who married Jay-Z in April 2008, turned to music to help her get through her pain.
‘I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life,’ she says, but doesn’t name the track.
‘And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album.
‘And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.’
Her husband Jay-Z first referenced the miscarriage in Glory, a track recorded within days of Blue’s birth in January 2012.
Beyonce was thrilled when she discovered she was pregnant again in 2011 and found it hard to keep the news to herself to begin with.
‘Being pregnant was very much like falling in love. You are so open. You are so overjoyed.
‘There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.’
After cautiously keeping her it a secret, she finally revealed her bump in spectacular fashion at the MTV Video Music Awards in August 2011.
She famously rubbed her tummy during a performance of Love On Top and it went on to become the most-tweeted moments of the year.
The HBO documentary attempts to show the other, more vulnerable and human side of Beyonce.
In a previous clip, she says: ‘People see celebrities and they have money and fame, but I’m a human being.’
‘I cry, I get scared, I get nervous just like everyone else.’
She shares tender and very candid moments from her pregnancy with Blue Ivy, showing her bare pregnant belly and even a sonogram of her unborn daughter.
Of course, Beyonce is now gearing up to perform at the Super Bowl in New Orleans on Sunday.
The Love On Top singer – who was criticised earlier this month for allegedly miming the American national anthem at President Barack Obama’s inauguration – is said to have been preparing to perform live since the end of October.
She is now feeling the pressure to wow the audience despite believing she did nothing wrong during her performance in Washington DC.
A source close to the star said she was very disappointed and felt ‘a technicality which everybody does took away from the beauty of the moment.
‘She didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. Pavarotti has done it! It was freezing out, and if she messed up just one note, that would have been the story.
‘Everybody uses these tracks, and the music director advised it. Any big outdoor live performance is almost always with some kind of track.
‘She did sing, but used a track.’
There has been plenty of speculation about Beyonce’s Super Bowl performance, including reports there would be a Destiny’s Child reunion with Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland.(Williams has shot down such speculation).
Some are also curious about whether her husband, Jay-Z, will join her onstage, as they often do for each other’s shows.
Beyonce has teased photos and video of herself preparing for the show, which will perhaps be the biggest audience of her career.
Last year, Madonna’s halftime performance was the most-watched Super Bowl halftime performance ever, with an average of 114 million viewers.
It garnered more viewers than the game itself, which was the most-watched U.S. TV event in history.
If you see do not believe Kim Kardashian is carrying Kanye West’s baby, time is telling you that is true…The bump is gradually coming out.
Kim Kardashian was spotted coming from a gym in California and there is no way you will miss that baby bump from the photo.
Rihanna is the cover girl of the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine and as usual, she had a chat with the magazine about Chris Brown…
Surprisingly, Rihanna seems to always have Chris Brown’s back and to her, no matter what people think, Chris Brown is not at monster…This explains why the two are back together in each others arms…
Check out excerpts from the interview below
On being mad at Chris and her decision to give the relationship another try
I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that. But I got real with myself, and I just couldn’t bury the way I felt.
I decided it was more important for me to be happy, and I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.
On not being able to talk to anyone about Chris, not even her best friend
I just felt like, why bother? Nobody else is going through it. Nobody would understand.
On how they’ve grown to value each other more
When you add up the pieces from the outside, it’s not the cutest puzzle in the world. You see us walking somewhere, driving somewhere, in the studio, in the club, and you think you know. But it’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about (stuff). We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.
On what she loves about him
For a long time he was really angry, and he felt like he couldn’t get away from it, no matter what he did. But there’s so many reasons why I ever reconsidered having him in my life. He’s not the monster everybody thinks. He’s a good person. He has a fantastic heart. He’s giving and loving. And he’s fun to be around. That’s what I love about him – he always makes me laugh. All I want to do is laugh, really – and I do that with him.
On if he’s changed
Of course everybody has their opinion about him, because of what he’s done. That will always be there. But he made a mistake, and he’s paid his dues. He’s paid so much. And I know that’s not a place he would ever want to go back to. And sometimes people need support and encouragement, instead of ridicule and criticism and bashing.
On if she’s trying to rehabilitate him
Wait. You think I’m here to rehabilitate Chris? No, no, no. That is not my purpose. Trust me. I could have done that from the jump if I thought that was my job. My job was to take care of myself – and I did. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think Chris was ready.
And trust me – it makes me feel great to know that people care. I guess it’s just something that will show with time. There’s nothing I could say that would convince you right now. But we’re in a great place. And I can’t ever see us going back.
On if he messes up again
Listen, I’ll tell you right now: I don’t have to take it. If he gives me that again, here’s what I give him: nothing. I just walk away. He doesn’t have that luxury of (expletive) up again. That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”
On her love being a sign of weakness
I could never identify with that word, ‘weak.’ I couldn’t have come out of this if I was weak. No way.”
After several months of rumors, it’s been confirmed that Kris Jenner,57, mother and manager of Kim Kardashian will be hitting our television screens daily with her own one-hour talk show which she is currently shoting in L.A.
According to reports, Kris Jenner will first have a six-week trial of her talk show on FOX and when it does well, she will be given a permanent contract on there…
In a press statement, Kris Jenner stated that;
This is something I have wanted to do all my life, so it’s definitely a dream come true! I can’t wait for this new adventure to begin and look forward to working alongside Twentieth Television and the FOX Television Stations.
Would you be watching it?
The red carpet at the 2013 NRJ Music Awards which took place in France over the weekend saw Taylor Swift, Alicia Keys, and Psy all made appearances.
Alicia Keys looked FAB, showing off her style in a floorlength black gown with revealing cut out detailing.
According to a report by celebrity blog TMZ, Chris Brown was involved in an all-out brawl with Frank Ocean Sunday night and it seems Chris Brown’s people are not denying it, they are rather saying Chris insist Ocean started it.
When will Chris Brown and all these bunch of celebrities grow up?
Anyway, read below for the full TMZ coverage!
UPDATE: 5:20 AM PT: After the incident, Ocean tweeted “got jumped by chris and a couple guys. lol. i only wish everest [his dog] was there. cut my finger now I can’t play w two hands at the grammys.”
UPDATE 3:00 AM PT: Cops say they will continue to investigate and want to speak with Chris Brown. They refer to Ocean as “the victim” because he’s the one who stuck around and spoke with police. Ocean said the fight started over a parking space (how L.A.) and Brown punched him. There were 6 people involved in the fight.
UPDATE 10:45 PM PT: Police have cleared the scene. We’re told Chris Brown was not there when officers arrived — but they did speak to Frank Ocean. At this point … we’re told no one wants to press charges, and no arrests have been made.
Chris Brown was involved in an all-out brawl with Frank Ocean Sunday night, and sources connected with Chris insist Ocean started it.
Chris was at Westlake Studio in the L.A. area listening to one of the artists he represents. The sources say as Chris went to leave, Frank Ocean and his crew blocked Chris from leaving. The sources say Frank said, “This is my studio, this is my parking spot.”
Sources connected with Chris say Frank then came at Chris … Chris pushed him away and they started brawling.
The police were called and are on scene now.
Below is a photo of Chris Brown in the studio. It appears the photo was taken before the fight … but uploaded to CB’s Instagram account AFTER the skirmish.
Last night at the 2013 Screen Actor’s Guild Award which was held at the Shrine Exposition Center in LA, actress Kerry Washington fabulously rocked a strapless white Rodarte dress which she paired with Christian Louboutin pumps…
As always, the actress was looking stunning on the redcarpet and we love it!
Despite having been seen several times in intimate manner with her coach Patrick Mouratoglou, 42, Serena Williams have kept fans confused by denying rumors that her coach is her boyfriend.
On Sunday, the two were spotted on a shopping spree in Melbourne, Australia…
Passing by comment: Those legs of Serena Willaims…
Who celebrates his 37th birthday this way with so many troubles at his back? Rapper Rick Ross was involved in a major shoot out just hours ago, after his birthday celebration at LIV followed by dinner with his girlfriend Shateria at the Floridian Restaurant .
While riding in the passenger seat of his Rolls Royce, he was a victim of a drive by shooting and a subsequent crash into a building.
Early this morning, Rick Ross was involved in a car crash in Fort Lauderdale after he attempted to escape a drive-by shooting. The good news is that he walked away from the incident unharmed, but the Rolls Royce he was driving was banged up pretty bad after he crashed into an apartment building. The car was reportedly sprayed with dozens of bullets.
Just before it all went down, Rozay was celebrating his 37th birthday at LIV followed by dinner with his girlfriend Shateria at the Floridian Restaurant. That just gave a whole new meaning to ending the night with a bang.
Back in December, it was rumored that Rick Ross canceled his tour after he received death threats from the Chicago gang, Gangster Disciples, who was upset that he name-dropped Hoover in his track “B.M.F. (Blowin’ Money Fast).” After the tour was axed, Rick Ross went on 99 Jamz and downplayed the threats by saying that he pulled out of the tour due to a shady promoter:
“I canceled the rest of the tour due to the promoter, he wasn’t really handling his business. Once they began to unravel, I shut it down. Never was it due to any threats. Any dude can stand in a crowd with 30 or 40 dudes and everybody real, everybody trill, everybody ’bout that life, everybody gangsta. But when the choppers come out, everybody fold.”
This drama is giving serious 90′s Tupac/Biggie flashbacks. Is playing up to the gangster facade really worth it?
According to RadarOnline, Kim Kardashian was in a hurry to get ride of Kris Humphries when this fell down the slope so she offered him $10 million dollars divorce settlement so that he will not continue to pursue an annulment to their marriage on the grounds of fraud but Kris rejected the offer…
Kris flatly rejected the offer because it has never been about money for him,” the source says. “He wants to be able to marry in a church again, with a clear conscience, when he finds someone special. Kris is deeply religious and he believes that the only way he can do that is if his marriage to Kim is annulled.
Kris wants to move on with his life just as badly as Kim does – he is constantly getting heckled by NBA players and fans – and he just wants to be able to close this disastrous chapter in his life once and for all. If Kim would just agree to grant him the annulment, they could both move on with their lives.”
As it stands though, the earliest their divorce trial can be scheduled to begin is the middle of June in order to accommodate Kris’ busy basketball schedule. So, Kim will likely still be married to Humphries, her second husband, when she gives birth to her new boyfriend Kanye West‘s baby in early July.
Reports circulated recently that Kris demanded a $10 million payment from Kim to grant her a divorce, but the source tells Radar that is categorically not true.
“That absolutely never happened.,” the source vows. “Kris has given a sworn declaration that he has never asked Kim for a single dime. The only thing he has asked for, and continues to ask for, is for her to agree to an annulment.